Sunday 26 July 2015

Souls in Fur Coats



A Labrador Retrieval
 
According to the Bible God made woman out of Adam's rib.  If He used a man's body parts to create other beings, His heart must have been used to create dogs.  No other living creature has their capacity for love and loyalty although, in choosing humans as their best friends, their judgement is questionable.

I have been without a canine companion for thirteen years now.  I just couldn't bring myself to get another when, after my last darling dog, Winston, died, I was financially barely able to look after myself.  I am able to now but when I get another, he or she will become family and also the centre of my Universe.  I will put my whole being into ensuring his or her safety, well-being and happiness.  I'm also somewhat tuckered out by this self-supporting thing and I rent.

Soon, however, I will commit.  I am occasionally tempted to go to the RSPCA but know I would depart an absolute cot case wanting to adopt every animal there.  So far I've resisted the temptation.  Nothing makes me more ferocious than someone neglecting or hurting an animal.  No wonder my son is a Veterinarian.  I almost think of it as Karma, my gift to the animal world, that he chose that profession as his career.  I was too much of a mess when I left school to decide what I wanted to do and fate, God or the Great Dog made up for it by having my son choose a profession I would have loved.

I influenced him not at all in this decision.  He first aspired to be a Dentist but to my surprise he chose Veterinary Surgery instead.  I believe I did engender in him my love and respect of animals for he is a lovely and caring Vet and has given his home to three abandoned cats.  He and his wife adopted a black Labrador who won't go up stairs as the cats spooked her once.  Labs are notoriously prone to psychological disorders.  I actually had to get our Vet to sedate Winston once when I moved house as he freaked out so much.  A dog on Valium is not a happy sight and it's best if they just lie down and sleep it off as their balance goes right out the door.

I began life with a Scottie dog called Soda.  My aunt next door had a Boxer called Brandy.  You can guess what the girls of the neighborhood did at happy hour.  Soda died from a tick and I don't really remember him but my parents brought home a Labrador puppy when I was seven.  We named her Lady.  She decided my bed could fit two of us but she had the habit of pushing me further and further up towards the pillow while she commandeered the rest of the bed.  Sometimes she just plain commandeered the pillow.

Lady decides to be top dog

Lady lived to a ripe old age but one day startled my mother when she began to puff up to double in size.  She'd been bitten by a bee.   Mum raced her to the Vet and she was given anti-histamine and recovered.  She was also hit by a car and I remember holding the skin of one of her hind legs together as we rushed her to the Vet.  He stitched her up and she lived.

A dog's life - Lady and the author as a teenager
against the beautiful backdrop of Pittwater

She loved our swimming pool and it was a race to dive in ahead of her as, as soon as we dived, she did too and would land on top of us.  I think she thought she was saving us but poor Mum never got to swim alone.  We lived right near Pittwater and we would also try to sneak out in our little boat with an outboard without her knowing.  The next thing she would run down the drive, throw herself into the water and swim after us.  Naturally we had to haul her aboard or a shark would have taken her.  This was a dog who knew her place in the family and wasn't going to be left out of anything.  She died before I was married.


Two girls singing - my mother with Lady

When my husband was transferred we went to Melbourne and I was very lonely so we went to a kennel and chose a Labrador puppy.  The woman who ran the kennel was later de-registered.  She had bred too close and Champagne, as we called our new dog because of her pinky-beige colour, had Petit-Mal epilepsy.  In the kennel she must have had to fight over food with her siblings as, after her first meal with us, she looked like she would actually burst.

One day I buried some old oil in the yard as I simply didn't know how else to get rid of it.  I was young and not au-fait with what to do with such things.  Champagne smelled it, dug it up, and ate it dirt and all.  Thankfully the hallway of the rented house was slate not carpet.  The diarrhoea that exploded from her when she was inside covered the length of the hallway.  I learned to find other places for oil after that.
Darling Champagne


We adopted another dog as well while in Melbourne, an older mongrel we called Bruno who had been dumped at my husband's site.  Bruno had the greatest heart of any dog I've ever known.  He loved and watched over Champagne and they moved with us first to Sydney and then to Perth.  I wish so much that I'd appreciated him more when he was alive but I was a new mother with post-natal depression and trying to cope.  Once he jumped up and put his paws on my shoulders when I was crying trying to comfort me.

When Rob, my husband, first brought him home from the site, we gave him a big floor cushion.  He slept for four days straight.  Champagne would go up and regard him with curiosity but didn't disturb him.  Then, when Rob would leave for work, Bruno would become very upset and howl.  He went straight through the flyscreen on the front door twice.  I got sick of fixing it myself.  I was renovating at that time and knew how.  I asked Rob to take him to work with him.  The Union guys on the site actually voted Bruno in as an honorary Union member.  Eventually Bruno knew that the house was his home and that I was his friend and stayed without a fuss.
 
Bruno on the beach with the author and Asher as a baby

Champagne and Bruno were both gentle with Asher as a baby.  I would never have let him roll on or annoy them the way some adults allow their children to do to dogs.  That is asking for trouble.  Champagne was always eager to play with Asher but Bruno, when resting, kept one eye firmly on him and, if Asher crawled his way, would just get up and move.

Bruno went into a second youth when we adopted him which was just beautiful to see.  While we had to keep Champagne inside the fence, it was useless to do the same the road savvy and independent Bruno.  He would kill Bobtail lizards and present them to me as gifts.  Once, myself heavily pregnant, I had to finish one off that he had left gutted.  It was no use dissuading him.  These were gifts of love.

One of my favourite memories is the one I call 'Asher's first rectal examination'.  I was preparing food in the kitchen and Bruno and Champagne were salivating beneath the bench top on which I worked.  Asher, curious and not yet walking, crawled up to see what was going on and crawled straight up to Bruno's behind.  Bruno was a full male dog with all his appendages intact.  Asher's nose went straight into Bruno's rectum.

Naturally I squealed, dropped what I was doing, picked up son and took him to the sink where I wiped his nose of germs although I'm sure he would have survived any.  Another day we took Bruno and Champagne to a park and the squirter sprinklers came on, the sort that burst forth in powerful, intermittent jets.  Bruno found his heaven on earth.  He put his mouth to the sprinkler and attacked every burst of water.  He could have kept it up forever but after five minutes we decided to take him home lest he fill up with water.

I will never forgive myself for Champagne's tragic end.  In Perth, Rob left the flyscreen door ajar and she followed him.  She was hit by a car and it fractured her pelvis.  Rob took her to the Vet but she was unable to walk for ages.  I was meant to lift her up and carry her outside to wee.  Because of her epilepsy she became aggressive when touched and it became extremely difficult.  Before the accident out Vet had advised me to put her down in case she attacked Asher but I never left them alone together and it was only on waking that she was disoriented.  Had she not been injured I would never have had her put down.

One day, trying to lift her, we both lost our cool.  Champagne snapped and so did I.  I just couldn't cope.  I yelled at her for which I've never forgiven myself.  I tried to make it up and soothe her.  I called Rob and asked him to come home, take her to the Vet and have her put down.  I couldn't possibly lift her, risk being bitten and care for Asher at the same time.  I made up with her while I waited, but I never forgave myself my outburst.  She was my darling girl.  Rob came and took her to the Vet but returned without her body.

I had expected him to bring her home so we could bury her.  He rushed back to the Vet's but the Council had already come and taken the body to the dump.  I never knew where.  I was furious with Rob.  Firstly for letting her out, secondly for not bringing her home.  I shouldn't have been.  He had a lot to deal with emotionally as well but one of the great regrets of my life is that day.  That is how much my dogs are my family.  Even now, over thirty years later, I wonder where she lies and it breaks my heart.

I had the strangest dream before Champagne died.  It was a week beforehand and she had not yet had the accident that would lead indirectly to her death .  I dreamed I was walking through a field of tall, golden grass the height of my head.  She was with me and also a white horse.  We came through the grass to see a vista before us.  Cliffs surrounded a lake beneath us but to our right down a narrow path in the cliff was a lovely valley.  Champagne began to walk down the path and I tried to follow.  Then I realised that the path led to a place where, whoever goes there, become a child forever.


I believe that dream told me where the souls of dogs go and I hope one day to follow.  I can't imagine a better Heaven than one filled with dogs.

END.



Bruno was put down at a ripe old age just a year later.  He seemed to be ill, shaking and in some distress and we decided it was time.  It may well have just been fleas but it was hard to tell.  The Vet came and Bruno was put down gently and buried under a lemon tree in the backyard.  I will always know where he is but in the spirit world I pray he and Champagne are together and that she forgives me.



In Hong Kong, where we moved for three years for Rob's work, I found a beautiful Labrador pup abandoned in our street.  There was no question of us keeping it in our flat but we rescued her, put her in quarantine to ensure she carried no rabies, and fetched her again.  We then advertised her in the paper.  In the meantime we had to keep her downstairs in the large, car park.  The flat's overseer, Mr. Chan, who spoke no English, looked dour and unimpressed by this canine invasion.  With enough hand signals we assured him it wasn't for long.  Mr. Chan obviously did not like dogs.



A lovely Chinese couple from the New Territories who had a house with a yard came and took the dog we had called Snowy as she was very light in colour.  I often wonder if Champagne was letting me make up for her horrible last day in sending us this dog to rescue.  It's strange because there just aren't many Labradors in Hong Kong, let alone a pure breed, and it ended up in our street sheltering under a plastic overhang from the rain.  I came to think the same when we adopted Winston our beloved Labrador.  For the first four years of his life, as long as Champagne had lived, he would have tested the patience of a saint but I loved him.

Asher and puppy Winston already taking on more than he could chew

He became a sensible dear fellow who was the light of my life but he always kept me on my toes.  I've missed him all these years and my other darlings.  I can never replace them.  I'm just waiting for the courage to start again.  I'm at an age at which their memories fill my heart.  They walk with me wherever I go.  I know I must have another but I would like a dog I can lift up and carry over the road rather than have to exert all my strength to hold it back.



Winston began life dragging me on the end of a leash.  In the end I had to wait for him to catch up.  One of my fondest memories is of the time I let him out of our yard for the first time when he was a puppy.  We waited until he was twelve weeks old and he had received all his Parvovirus shots.  I walked him up to the top of our driveway in Perth.  We couldn't see the ocean from there but Winston could obviously smell it.  He suddenly sat down and just breathed.  I have never seen such a look of sheer wonder on the face of any creature as the smell of the ocean reached him for the first time.  There are moments in your life so precious they are indescribable and this was one of them.



We named him Winston because, as a puppy, he had jowls like Winston Churchill.  I have never stopped mourning any of my dogs.  I love them as much as my close human family.  They say that when dogs removed from their mothers too young are prone to chewing to replace the teat they are missing.  Well Winston chewed.  We first put him in a cane dog basket, the ones that are about 18cm high at the sides and lower for access at the front and inside is a cushion.  Winston chewed the cane all the way down to the base until there were no sides left.



We gave him another one and he did the same to it.  He would punish me for going out by getting hold of one of my knee high stockings and swallow it whole.  If I forgot and left one in his reach, he would get it.  Thankfully they never became stuck in his interior but came out a twisted mess in his poo.



The best story of all, however, happened on the day we were to put him in a kennel while we went to visit my parents for the weekend.  He knew what was coming and stole Asher's Speedos.  Asher was eight at the time.  Winston swallowed them whole.  We were concerned they would get stuck inside him so we took  him to a Vet who gave him Ipecac to make him vomit.  He did.  Up came the Speedos fully intact.  We then took him to the kennel and went on our journey.  I left the Speedos soaking in disinfectant and washed them when we came home.  They were as good as new.



Winston was about seven when we moved to Queensland.  Our first rented house didn't have much room for him outside and when we bought a house it had a yard, but at the front where he could get to the road.  The house had a very long ramp leading to the back concrete area and Winston point blank refused to go down it.



We had to put him in a kennel and build steps to an area on the front grass, which we enclosed with a fence.  That done in just under two weeks, we retrieved him and brought him home.  He came inside and went straight to the ramp and went down to the back.  All we could do was laugh at his sheer perversity.  Eventually we put a large, expensive gate at the front to stop him getting on the road and he had the run of the place.



My husband and I broke up within the year.  Naturally our son, fifteen by then, stayed with me as did Winston who belonged with his boy.  We sold our house and moved to a rental house.  It had a steep set of internal stairs that Winston had to use to go down to the backyard.  He was frightened of going down but could handle coming up.  Some nights I could hear him almost skiing on his bottom downstairs.  This was the house where he needed sedation when we first moved in.  It wasn't the stairs.  It was because of the move.  He must have picked up all the unhappy vibes in the humans because he had never had this trouble before.



Eventually it became apparent that Winston had lost his central vision and only had peripheral, hence his fear of the stairs.  Eventually I built a home on acreage with my ex-husbands help.  It had no stairs and Winston was safe to wander.  He could find his way even though nearly blind.  Once a dog knows its territory their tremendous sense of smell guides them.



There was a steep, long grassy slope not far from the house.  Winston would sit on the flat area above it and enjoy the sun.  One day as he was aimlessly sitting and scratching himself his butt traveled closer and closer to the slope.  My partner Jan, who was sitting in the living room called out to me that Winston was beginning to slide down the slope, rear first.  I ran out and, by that stage, had to lie flat and grab him under his front foreleg elbows.  I was waiting for Jan to help and called for him.  No answer.  Winston seemed not at all perplexed and I managed to turn my head to look for Jan.  He was still seated and watching television.  Somehow, unaided, I managed to haul Winston back to the flat even though only his head and front legs were not on the four metre slope.  Winston then trotted off happily unaware he had almost done a downhill run worthy of a ski champion and Jan finally appeared.  All I could think was 'Men!!'



Winston chose to lie beside the television at night.  He would lie facing us.  At around nine o'clock, after giving us looks that suggested we should turn it off, he would get up on the spot, turn around, snort and lie down facing the opposite way.  We knew what this meant but we didn't always comply with his wishes.  I loved it when he came up to our room at night and lay beside the bed.  After a while though, he would always return to his place beside the television even though I asked him to stay.



I would close the doors at night and wouldn't let him out if we were asleep so he had to wake me to go out.  I would wake almost before I heard him coming up the hall to be let out.  I developed a psychic sense of his need.  It was quite strange.  I would accompany him outside and he occasionally liked to run off.  This was a game and I knew just what kind of behaviour he would exhibit before he tried it.  Nonetheless I spent many nights chasing him around the house in the dark.



When I caught him I would take him gently by the collar.  From puppyhood Winston would snarl or try to bite at any action he considered aggressive.  It took time to earn his trust.  He only bit once and that was my husband Rob, who made the mistake of being slightly rough putting his collar on after a bath.  Winston put his teeth into Rob's hand and pinned him to the floor.  I had the clever idea to run to the kitchen and yell "chicken".  Winston released Rob immediately to get his treat.  It was far smarter than trying to get him off another way.  I learned early on that we had trouble training Winston because he was defensive/aggressive.  Training had to done gently as opposed to firmly and once I understood this he became manageable but for his first four years he was like a delinquent teenager.



Winston developed severe arthritis and had such trouble getting up at night that he often wee'd or poo'ed where he lay.  He was most distressed about this so I made him a special mattress.  I bought four inch foam and covered it with thick washable vinyl.  He loved it and I could clean up the mess and wipe it with disinfectant.  He rarely got messy himself but I took care of everything.



The time came when he had to be put down.  Asher was now a Vet but living near Canberra.  He begged me to wait a while until he was home but I just couldn't.  Winston's incontinence became too bad.  One day he started trailing endless drops of urine through the house.  I didn't mind the mess.  I would have done anything for him but I knew it meant his time was up.  The day I called the Vet to come to the house I had all morning with him to give him love and attention.  By afternoon he just lay facing the door and didn't get up even when the Vet arrived.  I swear he knew.



That day breaks my heart.  He lay calmly and sweetly as Mandy the Vet said hello to him.  She sedated him and then injected him.  He was calm all the time and I'm sure he knew what was happening.  After she left we left him there with a cushion under his head and a fluffy toy possum I had let him chew that day.  I still have it.  He put only one little tooth mark in it.



When the people came to take him to be cremated I offered them some tea.  They stayed and we talked as Winston's body lay nearby.  I felt awful talking to them as he lay there.  I really hadn't wanted them to stay.  It seemed heartless to be talking to people with him lying there.  Nonetheless they treated him beautifully.  They laid him on a little stretcher and put a sheet over his body but not his head.  The man went out and took a rose from the garden and put it on Winston's neck, its stem under the sheet.  It was a beautiful way to see him go.



The fluffy toy possum lies beside the urn which hold Winston's ashes on my beside table.  He is kept company by this and a number soft toy Labradors.  Nearby is an almost life-size furry toy Labrador named Woof.  It kept my mother company in her nursing home and amused all her carers.  I am surrounded by dogs.  Winston died one week short of his fourteenth birthday.  That was thirteen years ago and I miss him still with all my heart.  I miss them all with all my heart but nothing has filled my life so completely, tested me to make me a better person or made me as happy as they have.

Thursday 16 April 2015

THE WORST RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD.

Gaddi's at the Peninsula Hotel, Hong Kong   

Imagine if you will a Basil Fawlty type dinner experience, but up the ante and place it in the most exclusive restaurant in the most upmarket hotel in Hong Kong.  The decade was the eighties and being an expatriate there at the time was akin to living in the pages of a Jackie Collins novel.

A year or so after our arrival in Hong Kong in 1981 my husband and I decided to take courage in hand and reserve a table for two at Gaddi's in the Peninsula Hotel. I can't remember our reason but it was probably for a special occasion.  The maitre d'hotel there was almost as famous as the restaurant itself.  I shall, in the interests of diplomacy, not name him.

It was well known that he took bribes to sit people at the best tables.  It was, in fact, considered de rigueur to do so.  A neighbour of ours at the time, a Swiss chef, who ran an exclusive club in Hong Kong, had worked at Gaddi's previously.  He knew the insufferable maitre d' and of his reputation.  He had seen it first hand. 

Yours truly was rather attractive at the time and dabbling in modelling.  I mention this as it may go some way to explain the dinner from hell.  The maitre d' was gay and not your usual affable gay, but your vicious bitch kind.  He made a fortune from 'tips'.  His apartment, once displayed in a magazine, was testament to this.  We had chosen a week night to go and were surprised to find the tables almost empty.  Perhaps the jet set ate later but in the hour that we were there only one other couple arrived.  It was after seven pm and so not really early.

We had dressed well, didn't smell and knew how to behave.  There was scarcely need to offer a bribe as there was no competition for seating.  We were placed at a table near the centre of the room which was fine.  You would think a maitre d' of reputation would delight in giving a young couple prepared to spend at such an exclusive restaurant a good experience.  Nyet.

We ordered a bottle of red, French if I remember rightly.  It came as we perused the menu.  We weren't offered any suggestions but left to our own devices.  We took time to study it.  We decided against an entree and decided on mains, perhaps to be followed by dessert.  I had once had pigeon and, as it was offered, chose that.  I forget entirely what my husband ordered as the shock of what followed has erased it from my memory.

When you order pigeon you assume, as it is small, you will get at least a quarter of the bird. We also assumed the meals would come with vegetables if a hot meal, a salad if a pasta or cold one.  The menu offered no suggestions for vegetables or salad and the maitre d' offered no advice.

Some forty minutes or so later our meals arrived.  The plates were large, our meals were not.  On my plate, all alone, was one pigeon drumstick and nothing else.  No thigh was attached to it.  My husband's meal was slightly larger given that nothing could be smaller than a pigeon leg.  It was, however, also very small.  We waited as we assumed the vegetables would come shortly.  After ten minutes we attracted the attention of the maitre d'.

Where, perchance, were the vegetables?

With a haughtiness befitting such a beast he simply told us that we hadn't ordered any.  He may as well have dropped a lead brick on the table.  We were absolutely stunned.  He offered no apology, no excuse and didn't offer to have some made in a hurry.    There was no suggestion on the menu that we should choose vegetables separately nor do I recall they were listed at all.  The maitre d' had not told us, as one should, what the vegetables of the day were when we ordered.  We expected, in such a place, to be looked after, not treated like hillbillies.

He went away.  We came around from our shock and decided what to do.  Without eating we asked for the bill.  We paid only for the wine and left.  No one chased us demanding more money.  Had they tried my husband might have given them a fist sandwich.  What should have been a special night was rendered a huge disappointment.  After all these years I still wonder at the maitre d's motive.  Had there been more people there to see what happened would he have tried this on two young people?  It was an attempt to belittle us, however, he only made himself look small.

Was he jealous that he was not an attractive young female like me?  Did he get up on the wrong side of the bed?  I know he was playing some kind of nasty game.  We weren't the well known set of Hong Kong but how often would they go there?  The place is an hotel and tourists went there constantly.  He had no one else to cater to that evening so he could have made it a memorable experience for us.  He obviously was not afraid of the Peninsula receiving a complaint.  He managed to keep that position for another sixteen years.  I can imagine that he took his personal venom out on others as well as the mood took him.

It's funny how a bad experience will stay in your mind.  Had the evening been good I may have forgotten it or remembered it vaguely with nostalgia.  One of the great things about Hong Kong is its fabulous food, not only Chinese but all the International cuisines.  It is home to some of the best chefs in the world and the produce comes from all over the globe.  It has provided me, apart from the experience at Gaddi's, with my best restaurant and food memories.  In fact I haven't enjoyed food since as much as I did there.

The mystery remains, however, as to why our night there was spoiled by the sniveling snake of a maitre d'.  Our chef neighbour was not surprised when he heard.  He said the man was one of the reasons he left the restaurant in spite of its prestige.

THE END



 

Saturday 31 January 2015

Cooking With Alcohol - My Favourite Alcohol Based Recipes.


Cooking with alcohol has two aspects.  The first involves adding alcohol to the recipe ingredients.  The second, and much more fun, involves adding alcohol to the cook.  Of course the ideal is to combine the two and I thoroughly recommend this.  A well soused cook is a happy and relaxed cook.

I have some favourite dishes that all have alcohol as an ingredient.  Most of them are based on fruit but not all.  I firmly believe, and have experimented at some length to support my theory, that alcohol aids digestion.  I do tend only to drink alcohol when cooking hot, savoury dishes as I like wine.  I don't drink Rum, Cointreau, Drambuie or Port and so confine my cookery drinking to savoury recipes.

Here are my favourite alcohol based recipes.

Rum Bananas
Pears in Red Wine
Mandarins and Strawberries in Cointreau or Drambuie
Portly Trifle
Spaghetti Bolognaise with Red wine

The recipes follow but don't expect photos of these delights until I have time as one must make the dish look artful and place it on crystal or china.  Frankly it's Sunday morning and that's all too hard.  I suggest using your imagination.

Let's start with Rum Bananas.  My father was an expert in these and they would be the finale to his Sunday afternoon barbeques.  He would first barbeque fillet steak for guests and this would be served with whole potatoes in foil with sour cream and Ratatouille that my mother had prepared earlier.  There would also be a mixed bean or green salad and often bread rolls.  I don't know how we fitted it all in.

We would eat on the patio overlooking Pittwater at Church Point where I was fortunate enough to have grown up.  No wonder we had a constant stream of guests.  Our swimming pool formed part of the view over the beautiful bay.  I don't expect Heaven to be more beautiful than this place where I grew up. Sadly my parents sold the place to retire and by doing so broke my heart.  I have been a wandering soul cut off ever since.

The alcohol has helped a little but not nearly enough.

RUM BANANAS

Ingredients:

Ripe but still firm bananas, one per person, peeled and sliced lengthways in half.
2 tablespoons of brown sugar
1 tablespoons butter or margarine
1/2 cup dark Rum
Note: the sugar, butter and rum quantities above will cook about two or three bananas halved

Method:
In a frying pan, melt the butter.
Add brown sugar until it melts and bubbles slightly
Put in bananas and coat both sides and cook until tender about two minutes turning carefully to coat both sides
TAKE CARE WITH NEXT TWO STEPS AND STAND BACK
Heat Rum separately in a small saucepan and light with a match
Pour over banana mixture cook another minute to burn off alcohol
Serve with ice cream and/or cream if desire

MANDARINS AND STRAWBERRIES IN COINTREAU OR DRAMBUIE

I was once heavily pregnant and my husband and I drove South from Perth, W.A. to have a picnic.  I had taken all the usual picnic ingredients as well as Mandarins and Strawberries in Drambuie.
The car broke down a short way out of a country town.  My husband waved down a passing tractor and headed back to the town.  It was hot and I decided to cool off by eating the Mandarins and Strawberries.  I was so happily eating them I was unperturbed about how long it would take my husband to return.  I was almost disappointed when he came back twenty minutes later and we managed to restart the car, so heavenly and cool was this lovely concoction.

Ingredients:
1 tin of Mandarin segments drained (these are better than natural and are always available)
1 punnet of strawberries, hulled and halved or quartered depending on size
2 tablespoons of preferred liqueur
icing sugar

Method:
Place fruits together in a bowl and cover with liqueur
Sprinkle with a little icing sugar or sugar
Chill in fridge
Serve plain or with cream or ice cream
Note: Lovely to take on a picnic

PEARS IN RED WINE

These are lovely warm or cold.
Basically they are pears in Gluhwein

Ingredients:
3 or 4 pears in season, not too firm
2 to 2 1/2 cups red wine
1/3 cup sugar
stick of cinnamon
lemon zest

Method:
Peel pears but leave in stalk
In a saucepan place the sugar, wine, cinnamon stick and one or two pieces of lemon zest
Bring to boil and lower to a medium heat
Place pears in saucepan upright and bring to boil again before turning heat to low to simmer
Turn pears every twenty minutes to ensure all parts are cooked
This should take an hour.  When pears are tender carefully remove them with a slotted spoon one
at a time and place all upright in a bowl.
If the sauce isn't syrupy enough bring it to the boil again until syrupy enough.
Remove lemon zest and cinnamon sticks if desired.
Allow to cool and pour over the pears in the bowl.
Place in fridge.
Serve with cream and/or ice cream, yoghurt or sweetened Marscapone.

PORTLY TRIFLE

Trifle always reminds me of what the cooks at my boarding school could do with leftover afternoon tea buns and cakes and jelly desserts.  It's enough to make my hair stand on end.  But my mother thankfully left me with a much better memory of Trifle with her Portly Trifle.  I haven't made this for years as my appetite has now waned to the point of being non-existent.  I can only remember delicious dishes as one remembers happy holidays.

This is an easy dish and I'll write it from memory so it may need some tweaking of the Port amount by you.

Ingredients:
A bought French roll (a jam and sponge roll)
1 pint Custard ( I buy this)
Port
Blanched almonds
There is no jelly in this but do your own thing.  After all Trifle was a dish created to use up leftovers.

Method:
Slice the roll into 1cm or 1/2 inch slices
In a large glass or crystal serving bowl place in the following order:
Line the base of the bowl with slices of French roll then sprinkle with Port.
The Port should soak up to almost a third or half way up each roll slice as I remember.
Don't make the cake sodden.
Cover with a layer of custard.
Repeat the process so there are three layers.  Finish with custard.
Place blanched almonds all over the top.
Refrigerate and serve when cold.

I don't remember if almonds were placed among the layers but do it your way.

SPAGHETTI BOLOGNAISE WITH RED WINE

Well everyone has their own version of Spaghetti Bolognaise so I won't bother to give you mine.

My only addition to your own recipe is to tell you what I do.

I start by pouring myself a glass of red wine and making sure there is enough left in the bottle for the Bolognaise Sauce.

I sip the wine and start chopping and slicing garlic and onions.  I continue sipping while I chop tomatoes and brown the mince. I set the mince aside in a bowl while I cook the onions, garlic and tomatoes.  Sometimes I add sliced Kalamata olives, and sometimes, when daring, Jalapenos or bacon.   I saute these then return the meat to the saucepan.  I add some powered beef or chicken stock and water, tomato sauce and red wine.  I may add mild chili sauce in winter.  I sip some wine along the way.  I add oregano, basil, salt and pepper as well.  I simmer all of this and eventually may thicken with gravy flour (semolina powder).

I often think that Spaghetti Bolognaise sauce improves with age in the fridge and even after freezing so I always set some aside and freeze for later.
I serve with either spaghetti pasta or spiral pasta.
Naturally I sip red wine when eating my delicious Spaghetti with Bolognaise Sauce.

THE END.




Saturday 17 January 2015

WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS.


It must puzzle good, decent men when women, particularly those in whom they are romantically interested, go for the bad guy.

The trouble, of course, is history.  Humans were genetically programmed in early primitive times.  Civilisation has only been around for a tiny fraction of our history.  Before this a man's strength and courage were his greatest attributes as a potential mate.

In primitive times a woman needed to allow for the time during which she would be pregnant and vulnerable.  After the birth she then had to care for her offspring which, unlike other species, didn't just get up and walk within a few hours of birth.  Human children are cumbersome for at least five years.  For this reason the woman must choose a reliable mate.  He must stay around and protect and feed her during her pregnancy and also after the child is born.

You might argue that a woman in those times didn't get to choose her mate.  Maybe not but she would still have been attracted to the males who were the best hunters and protectors.

A woman would also have to be protected from men from other tribes.  Her mate needed to be a fighter.  Basically he needed to be a killer.  This attribute of his personality may have flowed over into his domestic life.  This nature was probably the reason men began to suppress women and treat them as personal possessions.  She was weaker and, to him, that meant she was inferior.  The primitive world relied on strength and a woman's only real benefit was the continuation of the species.  A man didn't need to be violent with his mate.  If he was it was probably because it was his inherent nature to be so.  It was an admirable quality to him after all and if she did something he didn't like he wasn't about to discuss it, was he? No he would do what he did to animals and that is to physically overcome her.

It may seem to be pushing the envelope a bit but another requirement of hunters is stealth and that includes silence.  Do we wonder why the male is not the communicator a female is?  Men would work as a team and probably with a plan.  Their communication during the hunt would be nods and hand gestures.  The men understood each other.  Interesting isn't it that the way in which men enjoy verbal communication today is about sport?  It must be the closest thing allied to the hunt.  Post hunt the men might sit around and commend themselves verbally about their actions, but during it, there was silence.

What a girl wants!

Women talked.  They talked as they gathered because the nuts and fruit weren't likely to run off at the sound of their voices.  As they talked, the children learned to talk.  It all worked pretty well except for the attitudes it bred into the sexes.

There is something about the bad boy.  Firstly he rates himself highly and for some reason he exudes masculinity.  I believe it is because, put him in a suit or not, he doesn't belong in it.  He has what James Bond has; he's a killer in disguise.  The hunter is well and truly still present and women sense it.  They want him to hunt them.  That's his effect.  I think that women want to be attractive to such a man.  If she manages to bed him even once she will feel better about herself.  He is an image enhancer and most women are insecure about their looks, bodies or anything really.  She may want to keep him but that is inadvisable to say the least.  This type of man likes to conquer and once he has achieved that, to move on.

That's part of his appeal really.  It is a challenge for any woman to retain this man.  She might be able do so by feigning disinterest so that he thinks he hasn't really conquered her.  He will never cease to be exciting to her but does she really want to live with him?  He will never be entirely faithful either and, again, that keeps her interest.  There is nothing so desirable as something you can't have.

Meanwhile Mr. Nice Guy is shaking his head in wonder.  He is reliable.  He loves this woman and will hang around for the rest of her life.  Ah, but she knows this and she wants him too, when she's ready and hasn't managed to snare Bad Boy.  But he can wait.  It's not only men who want their cake and to keep it too.  In relationships none of us is really trustworthy and I think it may be because they are still so closely linked to survival.  One type of relationship may be for a stable and companionable life.  A woman, growing old, will need a man who loves her for herself.  The other type might stem from a desire to produce the best child and that will come from the Bad Boy.  I'm sure that quite often Mr. Nice Guy acts as father to Bad Boy's offspring, at least earlier in history and often now.  Bad Boy likes women young but he will also go for older if she is sexy, interesting and won't cling.

Bad Boy often marries but his wife will have to close her eyes to all sorts of things.  It is the price for catching a wolf or a shark and she may complain but she knows she has the man all the other women want.

Some Bad Boys of history: Lord Byron, Rasputin, Casanova, Marc Antony, Dracula (fictional but the ultimate Bad Boy), Errol Flynn, Napoleon (who dumped Josephine to marry into the aristocracy and reproduce), Henry VIII, John F. Kennedy.

END

Thursday 1 January 2015

MAKING A NEW YEAR COUNT WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME.



Well the New Year has rolled over again just as I did in bed this morning on the 22,639th day of my life.  That's not a big number is it?  It sure doesn't seem to be when looking back at how long I've lived.  How can it only be that many days?

If I live to make one hundred years of age I will only live for 36,500 days.  If you think of a person from infancy to great old age in this time span it makes time seem like fast forward photography.

I'll show you the full life photo album.  Here I am as a newborn with plump skin and no resemblance to my adult self and it will take another fifteen to seventeen years to reach full maturity.  And here I am at one hundred, my frame somewhat bent and shrunken, the fat under my skin all but gone, age spots all over my skin, teeth that have gone yellow and gums that have receded.  The inner corners of my eyes will be slits at the rims have a reddish tinge.  The skin on my body will be slack and dried up.  I will have knobbly hands and my movements will be slower.  I may be incontinent.  I may still be able to walk but everyone is afraid I will fall, and if I do I will certainly break bones as they have become as brittle as dried up twigs.

Ah, but my mind, if I keep it intact that long, will be as sharp as a tack and replete with memories that go back so far that the early ones seem to belong to someone else.

At this stage everyone will be waiting for me to die.  I have no future, only a past.  I am now seen as less than human as I have no potential.  I am as loved and as useful as an old couch, but I can't be tossed on the sidewalk.  It is strange that a human's worth is in their potential and how much of it they have left.

I'm in a race with time now to publish my first novel written thirty years ago and almost accepted once by a literary agent who asked me to make some small changes and by the time I did, the company had been bought and wasn't taking new writers.  I became tired of rejections following this and the cost of postage, of re-formatting the manuscript to every agent and publishers' directives.  I had to make a living after all.

I want to still be young enough to enjoy the achievement when the novel is published.  Note the 'when' not 'if' in the last sentence.  No publisher wants a withered old prune on the back cover even if they had the brain of Einstein or Hawking.  I want to revel in the signings, the talks at writers' events, the sense of pride I will have before my son who lost any use for me after he reached the age of twenty.

I've decided to run the gamut of potential publishers again.  Time waits for no man after all.  Then I have another two novels on the go, one that will be a sure fire seller.  I know that in my gut but I'm not waiting to finish it before I give number one novel another try.

When I read it after all these years, I'm amazed I wrote it at all.  That's when you know something is good.  My star sign says that I am prone to self-doubt and this causes me to undermine myself.  That is so true.  I should have been pushing the manuscript with a vengeance all these years but I became tired and lost confidence, not in myself but in those to whom the manuscript was sent.

I once sent the manuscript to a publisher using all their guidelines.  I included the stamped, self-addressed envelope for their reply.  I swear it came back the same week I sent the manuscript.  Attached was a "Dear Author" letter.  My own name didn't appear and the letter, all three lines of it, was generic.  I had the distinct feeling it had landed on a desk, the reply envelope taken out, stuffed with a rejection letter, stamped and sent.  That's pretty demoralizing.

My father used to cut and and send me articles about writers who got published.  He thought it would inspire me.  It did the opposite.  It upset me but God bless him for trying.  He's passed away now so I'm in no danger of getting another newspaper cutting from him.  If I could have him back again it would be the first time I'd enjoy getting one of them.  I still, however, wouldn't read it.

Just last year European Space agency scientists landed a robotic probe on a comet.  One scientist likened the difficulty of landing the probe on the comet to being like "Landing a washing machine on a speeding bullet."

I think that trying to get a manuscript published is just as hard but nothing's going to happen unless I make the effort.  As Captain Kirk says in the new Star Trek, "Make it so."  Well this little bulldozer is building up a head of steam and about to spend this year pushing and shoving with all her little might.

Wish me well and you just might get to read a bloody good novel.

END