THE INTERMINABLE HARD SELL VIDEO.

 

We've probably all clicked on a story on an internet news site that's classed as a 'Sponsored Ad' and, then, don't we regret it?

It usually starts with something like: Low cost pain relief the big pharmaceutical companies don't want you to know about', or, 'Anti-ageing formula with secret ingredient used by doctors to the stars'.  You know the type of thing, but woe betide you if you open the site because on it, always, is a video you have to watch.  It's not just any video, it's one that doesn't have a length bar at the bottom that shows how long it is and that's always a sign that you're in for the HARD SELL.

These videos always have one essential component; the person who makes them is a qualified medical doctor.  Not only that, they have appeared on various talk shows, their articles have been published on well known medical internet sites and they rave on and on about the fact at the beginning of their self-aggrandizing talk fests.

I once started to watch one of these.  It was by a 'cosmetic surgeon to the stars' whose cream, containing hyaluronic acid in his own special formula, marketed and sold only by his company, was the reason that his celebrity clients looked twenty years younger than the average woman or man without the benefit of surgery.  Yeah, right.  I only watched it almost to the end because I simply couldn't believe anyone could deliver so much bullshit before actually getting to the point of naming the product or expect someone to continue to watch the promotion all the way to the end.

Perhaps the idea of these videos is to somehow hypnotize viewers into a vegetative state where they are left so bereft of mental acuity that they buy the product at the end of the presentation.  I cannot otherwise believe that anyone with a modicum of intelligence would do so after being subjected to such a prolonged insult to their intelligence

One of these presentations that I didn't watch fully to the end concerned a doctor who was looking for a cure for dementia for his wife who, I might add, was at a very advanced stage of the disease.  They had tried everything when the doctor began his search for alternatives and, when he find the magic formula, it took only a couple of weeks for her to regain her faculties.  The odd thing was that it took him a couple of years to find the cure by which time she would have been dead or well beyond hope.  My recollection isn't exact but I do remember there were jarring inaccuracies in his spiel.  Of course he, the doctor, then went on to offer his cure on his own marketing platform, on his own site.

The other thing about these promotions is that they always seem to be made by doctors from the USA and their accents, frankly, drive me nuts.  Sorry, they just do and I think it's because the USA is the home of the hard sell.  In fact the only reason I recently watched a presentation to its end that I clicked on from an advertisement on a news site was because the doctor had an English accent.  I suspect, however, that it was a voice over because, when the doctor introduced himself in person on the video the sound was out of sync.  He also said his findings were shown on the Mayo clinic site (USA) and in some Phytology journal whose name I can't remember but that was also a US publication.

This particular doctor had patients who suffered pain from arthritis and he specifically brought one of his patients to our attention whose name is Frank.  We heard all about Frank who is a veteran with a high pain threshold.  We know this due to his suffering from numerous war related injuries.  Frank had tried every thing for the pain of his arthritis and we heard about every single one of them.  Some had even given him some mild relief but Frank was determined to find relief and happily stumbled upon the doctor who offered him his magic formula that eased his pain.

Firstly it was made abundantly clear that this relief came from a natural 'magic' golden herb found in India although we never actually hear the name of the herb.  We were informed that our doctor found out about it when visiting an Indian restaurant and began chatting to the Indian owner who informed him that practically no one in India suffered from joint pain thanks to this herb.  Meantime we are seeing people on the video picking a herb that looks like coriander.  The doctor then warns us that if we buy this herb, whatever it is, from sites like Amazon or places where it has been processed, we will not get the efficacy of his version of it that is organically produced and to which he has added other herbs and whatever to improve its performance.  If the Indian gentleman said that it worked fine on Indian people in India why add extras?  Well apparently Indian people use so many herbs in their cooking that this naturally adds to its efficacy.

Imagine, a whole nation that didn't need this doctor to improve their magic golden herb, as he refers to it.  Of course he has named his improved herbal product with a catchy name and sells it only on his site at the end of the video.  Naturally I stopped watching at that point but it did continue although I'm not sure for how long.  I only watched for twenty tortuous minutes out of sheer, perverse curiosity to discover how long the doctor possibly thought he could hold our attention.

I then had a thought.  Are people who make these promotions, which often are made using YouTube, making money from the number of people viewing the actual video as well as the time it takes them to watch it?  I frankly don't care enough to look into this to find out.  What is extraordinary is how many doctors use this method to promote their products.  Why, I ask, and again, why?  Are they counting on people's desperation or their stupidity?  Does hammering irrelevant details into viewer's heads before getting to the point make their spiel more credible?  I think not.  I think it must be an attempt to beat people insensible and into submission.

A few minutes into any of these presentations I am ready to find the particular doctor's email and write to them to tell them how much they have annoyed me and insulted my intelligence.  Added to which I would say that, even if the product does what they say it will do, I wouldn't buy it for just those reasons.  In fact that's not true, I might buy it if I thought it would work but, not for one moment do I believe any of them have actually come up with a product so good it would do as they say it would.  If it did, they wouldn't have to sell it so hard.

I am in my sixties now and have been subjected to advertising since I could think.  When I was in my early twenties my husband made a mute button for our television so I didn't have to listen to advertisements.  Happily remotes now all have mute buttons.  I have to say that, probably, only twice in my life has an advertisement inspired me to go out an buy a product and that was because the product was so new, innovative and interesting that I felt I had to try it.

I am not a follower and am not interested in what others consider to be prestige items.  I can see the point of advertising, in fact it keeps free to air television alive these days, but that doesn't mean I have to watch it.  I do, however, appreciate clever, innovative and entertaining advertisements but feel that the people that use the hard sell should either be jailed or put in mental institutions because they are public nuisances.  They should concentrate on trying to heal their patients and not try salesmanship as a quick fix to making them rich.

END

 

The Extraordinary Constant: HM Queen Elizabeth II.

 

I think it is fair to say that the last fifteen months have left us all feeling a little insecure.  The usual checks and balances of life, the things that make us feel safe, have been frayed about the edges.  It has made me think about the things that make us feel anchored and, for me, I realize that one of those things is rather unexpected.  It is not part of my immediate life but has been part of my life for as long as I have existed.  It has prevailed when many things have fallen away.  It is a person and one who stands, in this day and age, for what is good and constant in the world.  It is a she: the Queen of Great Britain and the Commonwealth.

Yes, I know she is mostly now a symbol but she is a beacon of moderation, a set of standards and of a system of democratic government that has been adopted in countries throughout the world: a Parliament elected by the people with a symbolic head of state who has the power of veto in only the most extraordinary situations.

It wasn't always so, of course, but the monarchy, in order to survive, gradually relinquished power to the people.  The citizens of Great Britain, however, remembering their glorious past as an Empire, have retained the monarchy that reminds it of its former greatness and for which it holds great deference.  This is probably because the monarchy has, like an aging parent, stepped into the background and, from there, reminds people of the standards they should uphold and retain.  It is one thing to lose an Empire, but it is another to lose one's sense of  worth and self.  Somehow Great Britain has managed to fade as a world power while retaining its status as a place of culture, history and comme il faut.

Do the people of India, for instance, love cricket because it is a great game?  Somehow I think not.  I think that it is because the British colonists of the time, with their sense of superiority, arrogance and military know how, simply impressed the people of India so much that they adopted this sport of its upper classes.  India may have wanted the British to leave but they wanted to keep some of the trimmings of this superbly self centered people.  Give the British their due, however, they learn, in recent history especially.  As their power faded they had to adapt and become more accepting

There is also something to be said about having an upper class that won't let people in.  It makes people want in and, to achieve this, they must raise their standards and emulate the behavior and manners of the status to which they aspire.  This is where the Queen comes in.  She maintains the standard.  It must be a hell of a job being perfect all the time: perfectly groomed, perfectly mannered, unable to make a single contentious remark and attend hundreds of public engagements every year.  People think: Oh but she's got so many people to help her.  No, she's the one who has to remain standing, healthy and I admire her ability.  My toilet habits would never allow me to maintain her poise and unflappability.  The woman is as healthy as a horse.  She is also stoic.  It can't have been an easy life, no matter the perks, and it has been one of service.

Elizabeth was Queen when I was born and she is still the Queen.  She is now ninety four and looks more at ease and comfortable in her role than she ever has.  I believe it is because she knows that she has done the duty that was expected of her.  Some wayward members of the family have let the team down, albeit adding a little colour to keep the public amused.  If the Queen hadn't been at the helm, the monarchy may not have survived them, but she has not wavered.  The Queen is now an institution.  In fact she practically doesn't need a country.  She is, in and of herself, what matters.

While this last year has ground me down, along with everyone else, I tell myself that I am, relative to the Queen's age, moderately young.  She has lasted this long and so I must not give up hope.  I don't even dress properly to leave the house anymore but the other day the Queen stepped out in a delightful lime coloured ensemble to celebrate one hundred years of the Australian Air Force at a memorial in Britain.  It was her first outing in all these months and made me realize that I must pull up my socks, even if I don't have a chauffeur driven Bentley to take me where I need to go.  It's about maintaining standards.  It's about keeping our chins up.  It's about hope.  If people wonder why the Queen is there, let them remember that it's to set an example of what civilization expects of us.

There are refugees pouring out of Ethiopia, out of Syria and now out of Mozambique.  There are refugees trying to get into the USA through Mexico.  Everyone is hoping for something better.  Covid is decimating us, little wars are destroying lives in various places throughout the world and we need to imagine a world where things still run smoothly and life isn't tattered around the edges.  We all need to see that world still exists somewhere, even if it's a bit out of reach.  It's like the cinema.  Sometimes we need to live vicariously through other people's lives.  That may seem petty to some, but without hope, there is nothing.

The Queen won't get to take her wealth with her when she goes and I know many people denigrate the monarchy, but it's what she will leave behind that matters and that is an ideal.  She represents the civilization that I was born into and that appears to be falling apart at the seams.  I will be sad to see her go because she has been part of the more stable world that followed the two world wars.  Climate change, Covid and a very unsettled world is our next era and we need to keep our hands very steady on the helm and hope in our hearts, no matter how hard that proves to be.

END