Thursday 16 April 2015

THE WORST RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD.

Gaddi's at the Peninsula Hotel, Hong Kong   

Imagine if you will a Basil Fawlty type dinner experience, but up the ante and place it in the most exclusive restaurant in the most upmarket hotel in Hong Kong.  The decade was the eighties and being an expatriate there at the time was akin to living in the pages of a Jackie Collins novel.

A year or so after our arrival in Hong Kong in 1981 my husband and I decided to take courage in hand and reserve a table for two at Gaddi's in the Peninsula Hotel. I can't remember our reason but it was probably for a special occasion.  The maitre d'hotel there was almost as famous as the restaurant itself.  I shall, in the interests of diplomacy, not name him.

It was well known that he took bribes to sit people at the best tables.  It was, in fact, considered de rigueur to do so.  A neighbour of ours at the time, a Swiss chef, who ran an exclusive club in Hong Kong, had worked at Gaddi's previously.  He knew the insufferable maitre d' and of his reputation.  He had seen it first hand. 

Yours truly was rather attractive at the time and dabbling in modelling.  I mention this as it may go some way to explain the dinner from hell.  The maitre d' was gay and not your usual affable gay, but your vicious bitch kind.  He made a fortune from 'tips'.  His apartment, once displayed in a magazine, was testament to this.  We had chosen a week night to go and were surprised to find the tables almost empty.  Perhaps the jet set ate later but in the hour that we were there only one other couple arrived.  It was after seven pm and so not really early.

We had dressed well, didn't smell and knew how to behave.  There was scarcely need to offer a bribe as there was no competition for seating.  We were placed at a table near the centre of the room which was fine.  You would think a maitre d' of reputation would delight in giving a young couple prepared to spend at such an exclusive restaurant a good experience.  Nyet.

We ordered a bottle of red, French if I remember rightly.  It came as we perused the menu.  We weren't offered any suggestions but left to our own devices.  We took time to study it.  We decided against an entree and decided on mains, perhaps to be followed by dessert.  I had once had pigeon and, as it was offered, chose that.  I forget entirely what my husband ordered as the shock of what followed has erased it from my memory.

When you order pigeon you assume, as it is small, you will get at least a quarter of the bird. We also assumed the meals would come with vegetables if a hot meal, a salad if a pasta or cold one.  The menu offered no suggestions for vegetables or salad and the maitre d' offered no advice.

Some forty minutes or so later our meals arrived.  The plates were large, our meals were not.  On my plate, all alone, was one pigeon drumstick and nothing else.  No thigh was attached to it.  My husband's meal was slightly larger given that nothing could be smaller than a pigeon leg.  It was, however, also very small.  We waited as we assumed the vegetables would come shortly.  After ten minutes we attracted the attention of the maitre d'.

Where, perchance, were the vegetables?

With a haughtiness befitting such a beast he simply told us that we hadn't ordered any.  He may as well have dropped a lead brick on the table.  We were absolutely stunned.  He offered no apology, no excuse and didn't offer to have some made in a hurry.    There was no suggestion on the menu that we should choose vegetables separately nor do I recall they were listed at all.  The maitre d' had not told us, as one should, what the vegetables of the day were when we ordered.  We expected, in such a place, to be looked after, not treated like hillbillies.

He went away.  We came around from our shock and decided what to do.  Without eating we asked for the bill.  We paid only for the wine and left.  No one chased us demanding more money.  Had they tried my husband might have given them a fist sandwich.  What should have been a special night was rendered a huge disappointment.  After all these years I still wonder at the maitre d's motive.  Had there been more people there to see what happened would he have tried this on two young people?  It was an attempt to belittle us, however, he only made himself look small.

Was he jealous that he was not an attractive young female like me?  Did he get up on the wrong side of the bed?  I know he was playing some kind of nasty game.  We weren't the well known set of Hong Kong but how often would they go there?  The place is an hotel and tourists went there constantly.  He had no one else to cater to that evening so he could have made it a memorable experience for us.  He obviously was not afraid of the Peninsula receiving a complaint.  He managed to keep that position for another sixteen years.  I can imagine that he took his personal venom out on others as well as the mood took him.

It's funny how a bad experience will stay in your mind.  Had the evening been good I may have forgotten it or remembered it vaguely with nostalgia.  One of the great things about Hong Kong is its fabulous food, not only Chinese but all the International cuisines.  It is home to some of the best chefs in the world and the produce comes from all over the globe.  It has provided me, apart from the experience at Gaddi's, with my best restaurant and food memories.  In fact I haven't enjoyed food since as much as I did there.

The mystery remains, however, as to why our night there was spoiled by the sniveling snake of a maitre d'.  Our chef neighbour was not surprised when he heard.  He said the man was one of the reasons he left the restaurant in spite of its prestige.

THE END