WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS.

It must puzzle good, decent men when women, particularly those in whom they are romantically interested, go for the bad guy.

The trouble, of course, is history.  Humans were genetically programmed in early primitive times.  Civilisation has only been around for a tiny fraction of our history.  Before this a man's strength and courage were his greatest attributes as a potential mate.

In primitive times a woman needed to allow for the time during which she would be pregnant and vulnerable.  After the birth she then had to care for her offspring which, unlike other species, didn't just get up and walk within a few hours of birth.  Human children are cumbersome for at least five years.  For this reason the woman must choose a reliable mate.  He must stay around and protect and feed her during her pregnancy and also after the child is born.

You might argue that a woman in those times didn't get to choose her mate.  Maybe not but she would still have been attracted to the males who were the best hunters and protectors.

A woman would also have to be protected from men from other tribes.  Her mate needed to be a fighter.  Basically he needed to be a killer.  This attribute of his personality may have flowed over into his domestic life.  This nature was probably the reason men began to suppress women and treat them as personal possessions.  She was weaker and, to him, that meant she was inferior.  The primitive world relied on strength and a woman's only real benefit was the continuation of the species.  A man didn't need to be violent with his mate.  If he was it was probably because it was his inherent nature to be so.  It was an admirable quality to him after all and if she did something he didn't like he wasn't about to discuss it, was he? No he would do what he did to animals and that is to physically overcome her.

It may seem to be pushing the envelope a bit but another requirement of hunters is stealth and that includes silence.  Do we wonder why the male is not the communicator a female is?  Men would work as a team and probably with a plan.  Their communication during the hunt would be nods and hand gestures.  The men understood each other.  Interesting isn't it that the way in which men enjoy verbal communication today is about sport?  It must be the closest thing allied to the hunt.  Post hunt the men might sit around and commend themselves verbally about their actions, but during it, there was silence.

What a girl wants!

Women talked.  They talked as they gathered because the nuts and fruit weren't likely to run off at the sound of their voices.  As they talked, the children learned to talk.  It all worked pretty well except for the attitudes it bred into the sexes.

There is something about the bad boy.  Firstly he rates himself highly and for some reason he exudes masculinity.  I believe it is because, put him in a suit or not, he doesn't belong in it.  He has what James Bond has; he's a killer in disguise.  The hunter is well and truly still present and women sense it.  They want him to hunt them.  That's his effect.  I think that women want to be attractive to such a man.  If she manages to bed him even once she will feel better about herself.  He is an image enhancer and most women are insecure about their looks, bodies or anything really.  She may want to keep him but that is inadvisable to say the least.  This type of man likes to conquer and once he has achieved that, to move on.

That's part of his appeal really.  It is a challenge for any woman to retain this man.  She might be able do so by feigning disinterest so that he thinks he hasn't really conquered her.  He will never cease to be exciting to her but does she really want to live with him?  He will never be entirely faithful either and, again, that keeps her interest.  There is nothing so desirable as something you can't have.

Meanwhile Mr. Nice Guy is shaking his head in wonder.  He is reliable.  He loves this woman and will hang around for the rest of her life.  Ah, but she knows this and she wants him too, when she's ready and hasn't managed to snare Bad Boy.  But he can wait.  It's not only men who want their cake and to keep it too.  In relationships none of us is really trustworthy and I think it may be because they are still so closely linked to survival.  One type of relationship may be for a stable and companionable life.  A woman, growing old, will need a man who loves her for herself.  The other type might stem from a desire to produce the best child and that will come from the Bad Boy.  I'm sure that quite often Mr. Nice Guy acts as father to Bad Boy's offspring, at least earlier in history and often now.  Bad Boy likes women young but he will also go for older if she is sexy, interesting and won't cling.

Bad Boy often marries but his wife will have to close her eyes to all sorts of things.  It is the price for catching a wolf or a shark and she may complain but she knows she has the man all the other women want.

Some Bad Boys of history: Lord Byron, Rasputin, Casanova, Marc Antony, Dracula (fictional but the ultimate Bad Boy), Errol Flynn, Napoleon (who dumped Josephine to marry into the aristocracy and reproduce), Henry VIII, John F. Kennedy.

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