There will come a time when your man reaches the age when he disappears into his shed all day and only emerges for sustenance. It may happen when he's twenty-five, it may happen when he's forty or when he's sixty something. Don't let it worry you. Consider it this way: if he's in the shed and at least you see him at meal times, he's not found another woman to amuse him. You may occasionally want to see him but at least you know when you can find him.
We don't need to live in one another's pockets when we commit to each other for life, but we all need our space and this is his. Do not go in and try to rearrange it or touch his things. This is his kingdom, his castle and a female no go zone. It is only fair. You may even find he is creating extraordinary things in his domain. I know my man is. He sure spends enough on equipment to create his masterpieces but at least I know where the money is going and see the sense of achievement on his features. You may even get to see him grow in his craft.
Some men retire after busy working lives and have no idea of what to do with themselves. I know women retire too but we are better at finding repetitive, useless household chores to do. Men have overlooked these all their lives and I wish I could do the same. Housework to me is not a sign of achievement. If your man, therefore, finds a hobby in which to immerse himself in his domain then great because, for one thing, he won't be picking on your house keeping.
Being in his shed also allows him to retain a very important part of himself, which is his single, pre-committed self. Every one, male and female alike, needs to keep a part of them that is just for them. We are single entities who are born alone and die alone no matter who we connect up with on the journey and it is important to be comfortable in one's own company as well as to interact.
I pity men who live in apartments and whose only version of a shed is their parking garage, if they're lucky enough to have a lock up one. Of course some flats have only on street parking. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of man can cope without his own space in which to dream. Going out all the time to find other ways to amuse oneself becomes very expensive.
Some suburbs have community Men's Sheds where the guys can get together, work and exchange expertise. These places often have tools, both manual and electric, for the members to use. It is interesting to note that there are no Women's Sheds, as yet, that I have heard of.
I am going to make a sexist statement here but I believe it is true and it is a facet of men that I admire: men can channel and direct themselves to one task without anything disturbing their concentration. Of course women can too but, I don't believe, quite to the same extent. Try getting a woman to do this without thinking about other necessary things she should also attend to while men don't even let these considerations disturb the ether in which their brains exist.
I have a theory about this that I may have written about before. I believe it became embedded in our genes through the historic behavior of the sexes. Women became confined to certain tasks because they alone could get pregnant. You can't go hunting in the latter stages of pregnancy and so hunting became, pretty much, the male's domain, while being confined to the hearth, gathering nuts, berries and watching the children, became the female's, whether she liked it or not. Now hunting requires concentration. The hunter sets his mind on his prey, stalks it and follows through with the kill. He doesn't stop to gather berries or admire a pretty sunset or contemplate the meaning of life, he just does what he has to do.
Women got to multi-task, even though those tasks were boring and demanding. Keeping your eye on children requires considerable multi-tasking as you attempt to do the other things you need to do. Programming women's minds to do one task alone just wasn't going to happen but, I believe, it did to men's. I think we should just enjoy and admire the differences that have developed, after all, variety is the spice of life.
The other good thing about sheds is this: the initial passion for sex will gradually diminish no matter how loving a couple is and, in order for their commitment to survive, they must find other outlets, both singular and apart, to remain interesting to one another. If one finds an outlet and the other doesn't, this is sad. Not all of us have it within us to find an interest or hobby. My mother used to like entertaining and brought people to the house. My father was an artist and worked alone but benefited from my mother's social interactions because he met new people through her.
Sadly my mother developed dementia and could not longer pursue her greatest passion, which was to read and, eventually she could no longer entertain, although her friends did not desert her. During the day, however, she was at a loss as to what to do. During this time my father never lost pace in his studio cum shed and phoned me (as I lived interstate) concerned with how to alleviate my mother's growing depression. He was such a clever man but he didn't see what he needed to do. I had to tell him to put one or two days per week aside just to give my mother something to do: take her for a drive, a picnic, see a movie.
He then learned how to cook for her and do all those little things that had always been her domain and he enjoyed it. He would even phone me and share recipes he had discovered. Her version of the shed, the home, finally became his but he didn't resent it.
I remember my father's fabulous ability to direct himself to one task to the exclusion of all else and so wish I had his passion but he didn't fail my mother when he was called upon to partially relinquish it to take care of her.
If your man is happy in his shed, even if you only see him a few times a day, leave him be. At least he'll still be there for you in a crunch and you for him. You don't need to be glued to each other to be in a happy relationship; you just need to know the other is there and that you care about each other.
END
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