"Oy" - A poem about the origins of the Australian accent.

"Transport Ship" by artist Hugh Gittus

How did we, from a land so proper,
End up Down Under speaking Ocker?
It happened thus, as I shall tell,
That Blighty’s jails were overfull,
And Britons who had gone astray,
Were sent instead to Botany Bay.

Transported over ocean blue,
The five vowels – ‘A,E,I,O’ and ‘U’,
Flung about by wind and storm,
Held hands in terror and took new form.
As one they shouted “Oy, Oy, Oy,
Get us off this bloody, bouncing toy”.

Nor was it wise on tumbling ashore
To open the mouth as wide as before.
With heat, dust and flies abounding
'Twas healthier to be flat sounding
Than bare the teeth and thus let in
Any number of nasty, flying things.

The shrill squawk of a Cockatoo
Is nought compared to an Ocker Blue.
Deep vibrations of the throat are
Bypassed for much harsher notes.

This came about from need,
When no one was near enough to heed.
Before telephones were the order,
"Cooee" carried voices further,
From the sinus it emanates
So high that eardrums can deflate.

Though it’s manly to sound low
In Oz it’s not the way to go.
With voices more like crack of whip
Good grammar also gets the slip.
The sound of cricket bat and ball
Does this country more enthrall
Than principles of diction
That are likely to cause friction.

But don’t be high and mighty mate,
For while on you my voice might grate,
One thing I must make clear -
It’s better than anywhere else down here.

by Kim Dessaix